Sunday, 3 May 2015

Pissy World




Dear PC World

Do you know why your company has a reputation for poor service? It’s because you provide poor service. Actually, indescribably shit service because you employ staff who simply do not care. Maybe you don’t pay them enough to care, or perhaps you recruit from Shit Staff R Us employment agency?

Yesterday, Don’t Call Me Dave went to your Romford branch to collect an item ordered on-line. You were supposed to send an SMS message when the item was ready for collection – but you didn’t bother, causing the customer to have to call instead and navigate your intensely annoying telephone system (“Press 1 if you don’t mind being treated like dirt, Press 2 if you want a ridiculously expensive extended warranty that you don’t need….”).

Upon arrival, there was a queue of customers waiting at your “Knowhow” station. Apparently, you seem to think it is a good idea to have customers with technical issues (which can take a long time to fix) stand in the same line as customers wishing to pick up internet orders. Not only that, you think it is a good idea, on a Saturday afternoon, to have just one person working this station.

Whilst this member of staff was struggling on his own, you had several other members of staff walking the shop floor (where there were no customers) talking to each other and, in one instance, playing on his mobile phone.

When DCMD suggested to one of them that he should go over and help reduce the queue, the response was “I am not part of the Knowhow Department”. DCMD pointed out that some customers simply wanted to collect goods, they were not there for technical support. The staff member again stated that it was not his department.

DCMD has a simple question for PC World. What the hell is wrong with you? You have customers waiting to be served yet your jobsworth staff would rather stand there scratching their balls than help the people whose money pays their wages. Customers who have placed orders on-line want to come in, pay, and get out as quickly as possible. With so many buying choices available, why should anyone waste any more time with your company?

Yours not so sincerely

Don’t Call Me Dave

Monday, 27 April 2015

Pizza Not So Express





Dear Pizza Express (Epping Branch)

Do you know why you are called Pizza Express? The clue is in your name. Do you think it acceptable to keep people waiting an hour to be served their pizzas?

Even in fine-dining restaurants, with their elaborate and often incomprehensible menus, they don’t keep customers waiting that long. Let’s be frank, the product you serve is not complicated to prepare – it is just fancy cheese on toast for which you charge nearly 9 quid. 

The service on 19th April 2015 was shocking. There can only be two reasons: either your staff don’t know what they are doing or your branch was seriously under-manned. If the problem was the former, then invest in better training methods. If the latter, hire enough staff to cope.

If you can’t or won’t employ enough staff, then reduce the number of covers per sitting or tell customers when they arrive that there is a long delay to be served. The customer can then decide whether to stay or leave.

Perhaps you have forgotten that other pizza restaurants are available. You are in the service industry and you need to start improving your service. The public has a choice and we can vote with our feet. Perhaps that will be the only way to stop you treating paying customers with such complete and utter contempt.

Yours not so sincerely

Don’t Call Me Dave